A few friends and I have been going through a book called "The Steps to Freedom in Christ" by Neil T. Anderson, since last semester. Recently going through the first half of step 3 has inspired me to share parts of this stage: Bitterness Versus Forgiveness.
Some key points from the book:
"...forgive others as we have been forgiven. Doing so sets us free from our past and doesn't allow Satan to take advantage of us (2 Corinthians 2:10-11)."
After writing down a list of people we needed to forgive, we were also prompted to write down ourselves, if we need to forgive ourselves. This was pretty eye opening for me, as I tend to hold onto things that I have done and constantly struggle with accepting God's grace and forgiveness in my own life by not forgiving myself. We were also to write down "Thoughts Against God" that we've had and haven't let go of.
Before we began working through our lists, the book reviewed what forgiveness is and what it is not:
1. Forgiveness is not forgetting - "When God says that he will 'not remember your sins' (Isaiah 43:25), He is saying that He will not use the past against us. Forgetting is a long-term by-product of forgiveness, but it is never a means toward it."
2. Forgiveness is a choice, a decision of the will - "The Bible teaches, " 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:19). Let God deal with the person. Let him or her off your hook because as long as you refuse to forgive someone, you are still hooked to that person." "But you don't know how much this person hurt me!...Until you let go of your bitterness and hatred, the person is still hurting you. Nobody can fix your past, but you can be free from it...To forgive is to set a captive free and then realize you were the captive."
3. Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person's sin - "We are all living with the consequences of someone else's sin. The only choice is whether to do so in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of forgiveness...The Cross makes forgiveness legally and morally right...Don't wait for the other person to ask for your forgiveness."
4. Forgive from your heart - "Allow God to bring to the surface the painful memories and acknowledge how you feel toward those who've hurt you. If your forgiveness doesn't touch the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete...Let God bring them to the surface, so He can begin to heal those damaged emotions."
5. Forgiveness is choosing not to hold someone's sin against him or her anymore - "[Bitter people]...want them to feel as bad as they do! But we must let go of the past and choose to reject any thought of revenge."
6. Don't wait until you feel like forgiving - "Once you choose to forgive, Satan will lose his hold on you, and God will heal your damaged emotions."
After reading this, the book prompted us to start with the first person on our list and make the choice to forgive them for every painful memory that comes to mind until all remembered pain is dealt with. "Don't excuse the offender's behavior, even if it is someone you are really close to." "Don't say, 'Lord, please help me to forgive.' He is already helping you...Don't say, 'Lord, I want to forgive,' because that bypasses the hard choice we have to make. Say, 'Lord I choose to forgive these people and what they did to me.'"
"For every painful memory that God reveals for each person on your list, pray aloud:
Lord Jesus, I chose to forgive [name the person] for [what he or she did or failed to do] because it made me feel [share the painful feelings: i.e. rejected, dirty, worthless, inferior, etc.].
After you have forgiven every person for every painful memory, then pray as follows: (we did this after each person)
Lord Jesus, I choose not to hold on to my resentment. I relinquish my right to seek revenge and ask You to heal my damaged emotions. Thank You for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness. I now ask You to bless those who have hurt me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."
I hope this is as encouraging and as inspiring to you as it was me. I challenge you to do this with a friend. Make the list. Make the choice. Forgive as He has forgiven you.
Verses used in this part of the book are: Luke 6:36, Ephesians 4:31-31, 2 Corinthians 2:10-11, Romans 2:4, Isaiah 43: 25, Romans 12:19, 2 Corinthians 5:21, Luke 23:34, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Romans 8:15
http://www.freedominchrist.com/thestepstofreedominchrist.aspx
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